She was watching the colours of the sky.

She was saying goodbye to the old year.

She didn't know if the drops falling on the floor was water or tears.

She replayed all the moments of happiness she had experienced this year. 

She nursed the wounds she had received and felt that they were slowly healing.

She was often underestimated. 

Her kindness is mistaken for weakness.

Her idealism with stupidity. What they don't know is that she's smarter than she looks. She has been strengthened by circumstances beyond her control and falls that could not be prevented.

And after each fall, she became stronger than ever. But they don't see that. Too blinded by their own “truth” and pride.

Her whispers carried through the night. 

She thanked her angels. 

They watch over her and she knows it.

She almost gave up once.

But in the end, the Viking blood in her veins wouldn't let her.

She knows there will be new challenges and new obstacles to overcome.

She knows there will be the hard days. 

She is prepared for them.

Tirelessly, step by step, she goes on.

She celebrates, with a childlike joy all her own, every little success. Because she knows that even seemingly small and insignificant victories count.

She will not give up.

She fights for herself.

She fights for them too.

Only they don't know it yet.

But one day - they will.

She still believe in it. 

***

 

With the coming year, I naturally begin to close the current one. I don't do it on purpose, but it's natural. For me, this year has been full of changes, twists and turns, so many tears, breakdowns, laughter, and new situations.

What was different - it was Christmas. Never has a year like this one made me realize how important it is to have a home where it's warm, and love and how important it is to have someone beside you who cares about who you are and how you feel. And that it's not a given.

My Christmas wasn't exactly about a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner, or a perfectly decorated table, but it was about giving someone else humanity. This year, I participated in a cookout for the homeless along with other people and the Food Not Bombs organization. It was the first time I had heard about this organization. It was my first time cooking a purely vegan meal, and for the first time, I served it to homeless people, and at Christmas. It wasn't really about the food, although it was about that too, but it was about the fact that these people could experience the feeling of being treated with kindness and humanity. When they began to eat, the lights came on in the gazebo, where seating had been set up. That may not have been the intention, but it was magical—as they would say in the Harry Potter story, "something like magic."

This year, I participated in it by complete accident. Next year it will be completely on purpose. I realized that doing something selflessly for someone else gives Christmas a different dimension. We live in a time when we want more and more, and nothing is enough. But we forget, that sometimes just little is enough. As I stood outside looking at the lighted gazebo, I felt so grateful to be there. I don't know these people, their lives, and their stories. But I know what it feels like you don't deserve to live in this world for one more minute. I know what it's like to feel broken. And I know it can happen to any of us someday, and I'm grateful that I could make someone feel like they matter too.

So my dears, I wish you to have around you the people, whose hearts are filled with love, kindness, and humility.

Always yours,

Vendulka XOXO